Type One Diabetes and the Comments that Followed

A year ago today, I went to the hospital after two weeks of sleepless nights, one month of not being able to think, and two months of exhaustion and muscle cramps. On top of those things, I could actually feel my blood pressure exploding, I could barely see and I was drinking water like it was going out of style. I knew – I was a diabetic.

I have one of those odd memories. I can recall a lot of details from my childhood, I can watch a movie and quote it two years later. It’s all useless information, I never quite used this gift to my advantage. But if you want to know how Zach and Lisa started dating on Saved by the Bell, I could tell ya’. If you want to know where the term “Saved by the Bell” comes from, I could also tell ya’.

I remember learning about diabetes in sixth grade by Miss Martenson.  I was calmed by the fact that I was probably too old to get it. Go figure. But thanks to my recall, when I was feeling sick last year, I knew what those symptoms meant, I just thought it was Type 2.

I prayed to God on the way to the hospital, “please, I don’t want to be embarrassed by a Type 2 diagnosis”. Somehow, Type 1 wasn’t crossing my mind. I rationalized a million other things it could be but while I was on the cold, paper-lined, vinyl bed, listening to my “Type 2” diagnosis, I just couldn’t accept it.

I told the the Nurse Practitioner “that doesn’t seem right because…”. She looked at me inquisitively. “Did I say something wrong?” I thought again to myself. And she slowly replied, “I’ll be back”. I waited in 20 minutes of silence. I was terrified. Alone in my thoughts and insecurities.

When the Nurse Practitioner finally came back into the room, she had a more solemn and serious look on her face. “It’s more than likely Type One” she said. I was minutes away from a potentially life threatening misdiagnosis. If I hadn’t asked, or stood up for myself, what would have happened to me?

I felt an odd amount of relief in that moment, being told that I now had a disease that is incurable and life-threatening. I guess, I’d rather have something that serious than have to tell people that I have dia-beet-us. How ignorant of me, on so many fronts.

Because, the really funny thing is that I was about to spend this whole year fighting off ignorant comments about my diabetes. Just because I knew the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes doesn’t mean that everyone does.

And let me tell you, what everyone does know, is the answer to all my problems. These are the very well intentioned comments from people I know. Let me preface this by saying ALL of these are ignorant/uneducated/false statements that came from a place of love, I’m sure.

Let’s start in chronological order:

“oh you have the old people disease!?”

No, I have the young person disease.

“So this is a really early onset diabetes”

No, this is like juvenile diabetes, so I guess it would be late onset?

“Sorry, I don’t know what you can eat”

I can eat whatever I want.

“I’ll keep and eye on you and make sure you’re accountable”

WHAAAAAAT

“It’s going to be tough when you’re at home by yourself and no one is watching – that where the real danger is for you”

This one was in reference to my eating and again I say
WHAAAAAATTTTT

“I cannot do needles, I wouldn’t be able to be a diabetic”

Well, if you had it, you’d have to figure it out. Otherwise you die.

“It’s okay, with diet and exercise, you’ll get it figured out”

Nope, diet and exercise will just kill me in 6 months time, I need insulin.

“I mean, no one has ever died from type one diabetes”

Yes they have.

“My friend has it so bad, she has to wear a pump”

There is no varying degrees of Type 1, we all have it equally as bad.

“This soda has diabetes written all over it, Oh! Sorry”

That’s okay, soda didn’t cause my diabetes.

“There is a surgery you can get that will make your pancreas no longer bent over and then you’ll be cured”

There is no cure. And type one diabetes doesn’t mean my pancreas is “bent over”. It means my body created antibodies that killed off my beta cells on my pancreas that produce insulin. 

“stem cell research…”

Just stop.

“if you have low blood sugar, should I give you insulin”

Please don’t, that would kill me.

“ I know I’m going to get it too, I eat really bad”

That’s not how you get type one diabetes, but thnx.

“don’t eat that!”

If I don’t eat this candy, I’ll die, but thnx.

“My friend cured her type one diabetes by never cheating on her diet and now she is beautiful”

No she didn’t. She was either misdiagnosed like Halle Berry or you’re getting it confused. And you know what? I’m beautiful too.

These comments shoot straight to the raw, open space in my heart. It’s painful. Like I said, they are said in love, they are said because they don’t know what to say, they are said to keep on a conversation, they are said because they think they are helping. That has to be my perspective because they hurt just a little too much.

That’s why I’m so passionate about educating people. We have to change the conversation. It starts by changing the name of these two separate diseases because It’s only causing confusion.

Imagine if I were to pass out from low blood sugar, and someone administered more insulin to me. I would die, and it would be that persons fault. All because of a little confusion.

It matters.

It not only matters for the little bit of pride I still have left, but it matters to save lives. It matters because people are apathetic about finding a cure because they think we did it to ourselves. Or worse, because they think there already is a cure.

So here is my plea, educate yourself, fund research through the JDRF and stick up for your friend who can’t stick up for themselves. This goes for me too, let’s think before we speak. Because, while these comments are offensive to me, I can’t imagine how much they can hurt someone with Type 2. We are all struggling through something and the only way to really be heard is to first listen.